There she is again, sitting and staring into the darkness not knowing if it would swallow her one day, make her disappear. Just dissolve into the void that she now feels physically entering into her being. Perhaps the same had happened with her father, who was one day here and gone the next. Although he never really was permanently around, his full absence had quickly shuttered all of her, already fragile, world into pieces. Rest of it was a mystery. A domino effect.
And now all that ever echoed in her ears, while thinking of this man, was the sad song, created by the first love of her life. “It’s never been so dark, but the light is shining through, I must go, until I reach the end…”. She had sang it yesterday, while lying down in the bed, yet another one of those sleepless nights. In fact she sang it every time, when she felt lonely or down. “It’s so dark, it’s so dark, It’s so cold, It’s so cold, I wish you were here, so we could talk once more, once more…”.
“If I’d see you once again, I would say I love you.. Always. And always I will be… Missing you. Missing you. I’m so alone, in the dark.”
But she never really knew exactly whom she missed or if there was any light left in the world. God, knows where things had begun? She struggled to breach the line of the many endings; either those to come, or those that had long outlived themselves. It almost didn’t even matter anymore where she was going. She was hypnotised.